There may be precious little information coming out of the Labour Party right now concerning goings-on in Rochdale, where sitting MP Simon Danczuk remains suspended following his “sexting” a 17-year-old girl. That is, I’m told, because the Labour Party is having difficulty making a decision on the matter. But one person has commented: step forward Steve Hawkes, deputy political editor of the Murdoch Sun.
Someone in this photo is hoping for a bumper payday
“Rumour that Simon Danczuk will be reinstated as Labour MP today then re-suspended if he wins. It is a crazy world” he Tweeted yesterday. Why might the Sun be taking an interest in the political future of Spanker Si? Ah well. A Danczuk reinstatement would be the Murdoch goons’ birthdays all coming at once. I will explain.
News has arrived on Zelo Street that the Super Soaraway Currant Bun has a spill-the-beans warts-and-all “exclusive” all ready to go. The paper’s source stands, I’m told, to secure a six-figure payday as a result. But that source is not Simon Danczuk.
So who is the name in the frame? I am reliably informed that Spanker’s ex-wife Karen has given the Murdoch goons a tell-all lowdown of Danczuk’s misbehaviour. The story, it has been put to me, will make serious allegations against the MP.
And the target of the story - which I am led to believe is intended to run over a number of days in order to do maximum damage - is the Labour Party, and Jeremy Corbyn. Yes, this is the Murdoch press’ magic Labour-killing bullet. So if Labour let Spanker back in to the party, they will be made to look seriously bad when the story breaks.
I’ll go further: it has also been put to me that Kazza’s payday would involve a wider opening of the Sun wallet if her ex were readmitted to Labour. Why so? Simples. The storyline would then be something like “Labour knew he was a vile pervert and still they let him stand as an MP … how can anyone vote for Corbyn now?”
I know, I know, some of you will be pointing out that Jezza has had nothing to do with Spanker’s suspension, and this is true. But that will not get in the way of the Murdoch goons pinning as much of this mess on him as they can get away with.
What has also been put to me is that Kazza will get round it being pointed out that she stood by her ex-husband over the Alicante Airport ruckus back in 2009 and the subsequent fiasco of the “Rochdale Seven” by saying He Made Her Do It. A similar set of excuses will likely be deployed to explain why she refused to press charges recently after Spanker was taken away by the cops in Algorfa and spent two nights in the nick at Orihuela.
Corbyn - the target of the Sun story
Kazza, I’m reliably informed, is being inadvertently helped by her ex-husband, who has apparently resorted to threatening a judicial review of his suspension. This has had the effect of delaying the Labour Party’s decision yet further, with the selection for Rochdale now effectively in limbo - not an ideal place to be with the poll on 8th June.
Why would Kazza do this, and do it now? Simples once more. She, it seems, sees Spanker as being effectively finished, and so any dosh from that source she can forget. A six-figure pay day could pay off the mortgage and even provide a little spending money. The kind of one-off opportunity unlikely to come round again.
Ooh, what a coincidence!
And that, folks, is why the Sun would dearly like Labour to cave in to Danczuk’s threats and let him back into the party. As soon as that happens, the presses roll, the story is splashed, and the Corbyn campaign is holed below the waterline.
There will be suitably judgmental editorials and comment pieces - the pundits may have already filed their copy in anticipation of the ambush being effected.
You think I jest? Already, the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines and his rabble at the Guido Fawkes blog, Sun helpers extraordinaires, have told the world that Spanker will be running as a candidate - and used a photo tying him to Corbyn. The agreed line to take.
When it comes to fighting dirty, there is no newspaper in the UK to match the Sun.