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Friday, 20 July 2012

Think Before You May Tweet

[Update at end of post]

As Zelo Street readers will know, there are a number of those out on the right whose commitment to freedom of expression is so unyielding that they have blocked the blog’s Twitter feed. The roll of shame includes the perpetually thirsty Paul Staines, who styles himself Guido Fawkes, James “saviour of Western civilisation” Delingpole, and Young Britons’ Foundation head man Donal Blaney.

I don't read Zelo Street, cos I'm on telly!

Also on the roll call are Tory MP for Mid Bedfordshire (yes, it’s her again) Nadine Dorries, disgraced Tory spinner Andre Walker (a recent casualty of Twittergate), former Tory PPC Mark Clarke (also a Twittergate feature), the flannelled fool Henry Cole, and Cole’s appallingly sniffy flat-mate Christian May, who gofers at MIPPR, home of Nick Wood, former Tory spinner who talks loudly in restaurants.

Despite this united blocking front, there remains a strange fascination, especially for Cole and May, with Zelo Street. This was typified by Cole’s Twitter snark on Wednesday, where he called me a “loon” and “weak”.

By yesterday, though, the strain of Not Taking Any Notice At All Honestly was too much for the flannelled fool, as he petulantly ranted that one of my posts was “shot to shit” and that I was a “F***ing moron”.

Poor Henry was clearly in need of a lie down. But help was at hand, as his flat-mate joined the fray. “For whom does Zelo Street write apart from the small band of right-wing bloggers who like to laugh at him?” sniffed the Perfumed Ponce.

And, clearly now believing himself to be on a roll, May followed up his grammatically superior exposition to opine that I “should change the name of [the] blog to ‘no comments’”. But reality was about to intervene.

Former Daily Star freelance (and moderately long-suffering Arsenal fan) Rich Peppiatt took a moment away from preparation of his upcoming one-man show to inform May that I was “actually one of my favourite bloggers. Never heard of you, though”.

And thus the Perfumed Ponce was silenced.

[UPDATE 1400 hours: as Master Cole does not, repeat not, look in on Zelo Street, it was no doubt by sheer coincidence that he began to sound off on Twitter almost as soon as this post had been published. He proceeded to upbraid Helen Lewis and Owen Jones on the subject of the term "ponce", which had suddenly become a matter of the greatest importance.
Jones clearly did not see this as such a serious matter, so Cole widened his attack to include Ellie Mae O'Hagan, whose understanding of the term did not match mine, nor the generally understood one, but, hey, that's personal experience and opinion for you.
So Cole's problem is that he believes I have accused his flat-mate of being gay, which I have not. My use of the term "ponce" is to suggest someone (perhaps artificially) slightly superior, sniffy or stuck up. However, the flannelled fool had already made that accusation against me.
He had asserted as a "fact" that I had a crush on him. So he is the one making the accusation of homosexuality, and once again demonstrates that he is a stinking hypocrite. Another fine mess, once again]


James Scott said...

"Perpetually thirsty"? Are you Tim Ireland is disguise? This is very boring now. Please give it a rest.

Neil said...

"How can a school set up a year ago have GCSE results"

I moved to a different town and therefore school when I was ~14 years of age. I guess in Harryworld I should have started back at year one does it? Or do the rules of toadmiester's academy not allow newcomers?

Harry Cole said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Harry Cole said...


Harry Cole said...


If you took a moment to remove your head from your arse and then engage, you would soon realise that the West London Free School took on around 120 eleven to twelve year old pupils in the first batch. They won't be doing GCSEs for a couple of years yet.

Toby did not publish his school's GCSE results because no pupil of the school has yet sat the exams.

Greetings from Harryworld. Come on in, the water is lovely.

Harry Cole GCSE AS A MA

PS. Tim please sue if you are that upset.

Tim Fenton said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Harry Cole said...

I comment for the first time in months and they get removed. I deleted first one after updating but the second Tim?

Tim Fenton said...

Master Cole has pulled a characteristically fast one here. I point out (in the post "Toby Declares Victory" for anyone who may be confused) that without results, it is not possible for anyone to tell whether a school is good, bad or indifferent, and Cole shouts out "you meant GCSEs yah boo".

I did not: the general point was made and stands, that whatever the examination, one cannot say that one school is better than another without some kind of results with which to compare them.

None of Master Cole's comments have been removed, unless he has done the removing.

What I would sue over I am not sure - unless Master Cole is referring to his accusing me of being gay this morning. You call, Henry.

Harry Cole said...

I was talking to Neil actually Timmy.

I didn't say you were gay, nor did I think you genuinly thought Christian was, I was just mooting that if I called someone a ponce there would be a faux left outrage.

But anyway.

Tim Fenton said...

What you said can be seen for anyone wishing to make their own judgement on the matter. And considering some of the stuff you've called me over the recent past, you're talking just as much pony and trap as usual.

Still, carry on mooting, eh Hen?

Harry Cole said...

"Crush noun /krÉ™SH/ crushes, plural

A crowd of people pressed closely together, esp. in an enclosed space
- a number of youngsters fainted in the crush

A brief but intense infatuation for someone"

Sounds about right to me old man.

Tim Fenton said...

Sounds like a flannelled and flannelling fool to me.

It was you who followed me, remember? And you who keeps obsessively monitoring this blog.

But good to see you've graduated to using a dictionary. You should try learning a few more of the words in it.

Harry Cole said...

Like 'cunt' perhaps.

Tim Fenton said...

You are? I'll take your word for it, Hen.

Harry Cole said...

Really? That's the best you have?

What happened that alleged sense of humour?


Have a nice weekend. Fuckety bye.

Tim Fenton said...

Readers who are still reading may like to know that Master Cole's last riposte is currently Number One in the Universal Right-Wing Kneejerk Quote Generator Chart.

And it's goodbye from him.

DK said...

This is outstanding, more MORE!!

Shakey said...

In what strange world does Ponce mean gay?